Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
