Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
