im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
