I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
