So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
