Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
...so i touched it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
