You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
