the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
