hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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