Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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