I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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