dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
