it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize