u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
