I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
