Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
my poor anus
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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