he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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