Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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