Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
