I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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