The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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