I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
