I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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