You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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