What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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