I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
