my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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