Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
