Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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