Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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