We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
