I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
