I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
