She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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