There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
