I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
