The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think people are normalizing furries
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
