I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
you never un-have a 4some
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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