You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
