i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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