matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
