a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
