I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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