How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize