he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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