Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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