sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
