Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
