i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize