Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
