Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
