i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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