all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it was like eating out sand paper
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
