I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
