all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
