The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
