So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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