Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
